I'll Meet You There
by DerringerMeryl87
Summary: narcissaXsnape. about a year before Harry and his classmates are born. Rated T for later chapters, although i'm not sure how bad they will be! please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Narcissa watched as the girl in the mirror brushed her long straight blonde hair. It was already more than an hour past midnight. Even though he'd promised, she hadn't really expected he would come. All she'd really done was hoped. Narcissa blew out her lamp, then the candle she'd kept burning in the window.

She lingered by the window, looking down at the empty, snow covered lawns. The moonlight lit the snow to silver and she saw no figure hurrying towards her window with apologies forming on his lips. Oh, well. She told herself she didn't care as she hurried to her bed. She lay on her back and pulled the blankets up over her shoulders. It was cold in the winter, but the castle was much colder than her house. Her bed here was much warmer than hers at the castle, but this time she regretted coming home for Christmas. Tonight had changed everything. She lay still, trying to clear her mind and sleep.

She heard the tapping in her dreams before she opened her eyes and saw him out on the window ledge. Jumping up, she hurried across the room to unlock the window, remembering just a moment too late that jumping onto a hardwood floor caused quite a lot of noise in the levels below. Pulling the shivering figure through the window, she led him to the end of her bed. He sat, teeth chattering, on the bed as she fumbled for a match to light the candle with. In the end, she risked a trip to the kitchens for matches and a pot of hot chocolate.

The winter wind whistled sharply through the house. It could be fixed in a moment she knew, but the house was asleep when it happened and her father could never know she had been up this late. He could never know why. She returned to her attic room unheard, thankful that she hadn't needed to use a lie. She hated having to lie.

After a quiet cup of cocoa, he seemed to be recovered enough to talk. "I'm sorry, Narcissa, I-"

"Save it, Severus," she said with as much coldness as she could muster. "I'm tired of your excuses, and I'm tired of waiting," she glared at him.

"I know Cissa, I know. But it won't be much longer, really. I'm getting a promotion at Borgin and Burkes next week, and I finish my extra classes in a couple of months. I'll teach at Hogwarts before you graduate! Wait for me. Just a little longer Cissa!"

Severus had to lean forward so that he could hear her whispered response. "I can't." she had turned her back now and was sitting farther away from him on the bed than she had been.

"What do you mean you 'can't?'" Narcissa imagined she could hear the coldness in his voice and because her back was turned, she failed to see his hand reach out as if to stroke her hair. He stopped an inch short of her golden strands when she spoke again. Though he couldn't see them, he knew tears acccompanied these words.

"Severus, I"ve been promised. Daddy told me tonight. The wedding is set for the day after graduation!" Her silent tears fell for a few minutes before she turned to look back at him. She had expected anger, not the shock that showed in his pale face. "Oh! Please don't be like this! Severus, you know I would wait forever for you, but Daddy won't. He doesnt want you for me at all! Much less wait for you! Please say something!"

She was crying harder now and when she reached out to take his hand, he pulled her close to him. He had always been a scrawny boy, but she was tiny compared to him. She curled up easily in his lap as a child might and cried, great hiccupping sobs that racked her frail body. Severus held her and rocked her slowly, stroking her hair and breathing in her smell knowing, without quite comprehending, that this would be one of their last times together.

She had never lost it like this before. She was a quiet girl, though sometimes quick to anger. This was the first time Severus had ever seen her cry, and he didn't like it. They'd always told each other everything, but some selfish part of him wished that she'd kept this secret.

Ater she had finished crying, Severus picked Narcissa up carefully and carried her back to the top end of the bed, tucking her in as a parent does a child. She was almost asleep now, but when he bent to kiss her, she grabbed him by his collar. "Don't leave," she whispered. "Don't ever leave." And so he took off his shoes and slipped quietly under the covers beside her.

Happy there beside her, his breathing slowed to match her's. His arm wrapped around her, but he couldn't bring himself to ask what man would protect her like this from now on. There was nothing to do, but to slip into dreams where she was his forever.

A/N: I may have to edit some of these chapters as the story goes on... I'm writing it pretty fast. Type it as it comes into my head, then go back and edit it quickly, but there will probably be some days when i just don't have it in me to write and i go back and pick up on minor errors, like changing a day mid-action, forgetting to capitalize i's, and other various mistakes!


	2. Chapter 2

Narcissa woke instantly from a deep peaceful sleep. The empty bed behind her immediately removed all memory of her safe dream. A clinking noise brought her attention to the house elf who was clearing away her's and Severus' hot chocolate cups from the night before.

"Wait," she said sitting up so quickly her head spun, making the fact that she hadn't eaten at all yesterday painfully clear. The small elf turned back to face her.

"It's alright Ms. Narcissa. When you couldn't sleep last night , I shared a cup of cocoa with you. I'm just clearing it away now. I've already cleaned away the rest of your things," she said with a meaningful glance at the middle drawer of her dresser.

"Maggie," Narcissa called again and she came back. "Thanks."

"Say no more, but if you want to read it, I'd suggest now. Time is a factor." Before Narcissa could say another word, she had left and shut the door behind her.

Narcissa scrambled out of bed and across the room, almost snatching the drawer out as she reached it. Maggie had closed the trapdoor neatly, and it opened easily as she hit the hidden button. Tucked away in the corner was a tightly folded slip of paper.

Severus' note held nothing unusual, making no mention of her engagement at all. It was full of plans of the future, most including her. All in all, it made her heat tighten. There was no way to break the engagement and she would have to tell him so. Somehow, she would have to convince him that she would need to go through with the marriage. She would tell him tomorrow night when he came again. Her resolve weakened only a little when she saw the post-script: _Wait for me._

She heard the top stair creak and quickly refolded the note. When her mother entered the room, Narcissa was under the covers , feigning sleep with reasonable proficiency.

"Narcissa sweetheart," came her mother's soft voice and for the billionth time, Narcissa wondered why a girl like her mother had married a man like her father. However, for the first time she could remember, a little thought came to her in answer to her question: maybe her mother had had a father like she did.

Prearranged marriages were now, for the most part, nonexistant. However, for some of the wealthiest pureblood families, the idea of intermingling with muggles was so repulsive that drastically outdated steps were taken. Her mother smiled down at her and a wave of self-hatred swept over her. She hated to lie to her mother.

"We're going shopping. What time can you ready by?" her mother asked, and Narcissa thought for a moment.

"I can be ready in an hour and a half. Maybe less. Why the sudden shopping spree?"

Her mother hesitated a second, smoothing the bedclothes. Was it Narcissa's imagination, or did her mother look a little sad? "Your father has invited the Malfoy's for dinner tonight. He thinks it best that we all get to know each other." Her mother tactfully looked away as Narcissa recovered from that statement. "I thought maybe some new clothes for tonight would help you feel better."

"Yes, Mother," Narcissa told her, thankful she was looking away and not watching her dry her eyes on she sheet. "That would be great."

"Alright then, I'll be waiting downstairs."

Severus kicked at the snow on the sidewalk, grateful that he'd been able to hold his temper while at work. An outburst like this at Borgin and Burkes would have broken something that might have cost twice his yearly salary. Now though, with no one in sight along the dark street, an outburst was impossible to hold back.

It was all falling apart, right in front of him. This despair that threatened to overwhelm him now felt cold, clammy, and familiar. He remembered those years before he'd known Narcissa. Everyday he'd gotten up and wondered what to live for. That jerk Sirius Black and his perfect assortment of friends hadn't helped matters either.

His seventh year though, Severus had met Narcissa. Suddenly life had purpose and he was past caring about what Boasting Black or Perfect Potter thought. She became his most important concern. Even more importantly, she'd cared about him as well.

Although he'd decided to pursue special studies in Defense Against the Dark Arts, Severus had always had a great aptitude for potions and a love of learning. He had been reading potion books on his own time in the Library when he'd first met her. Going to a school with the number of people that Hogwarts had, Severus had seen Narcissa in the Hallway before. That day, he hadn't even been sure she was from slytherin, but he hadn't cared.

But they'd met and talked. Narcissa was studying for her O.W.L.S. and it was Potions she was worried about. Although enjoying the subject herself, she was a self-confessed klutz at following the instructions. Severus helped her, however, even lending her his own Potions book with his special adjustments in the margins.

When he'd graduated that year, their relationship had continued. It was because of her that he worked day and night in Borgin and Burkes, hoarding his money and spending only what he had to. It had been she who told him that Potions was much more his style, and even though he'd missed his chance to take the course in school, he should take a special course in teaching Potions. Now he was stuck on the sidewalk, 10 minutes late for his class, with money in the bank, and drowning in the knowledge that, had he been rich, it still wouldn't matter to her father. He had tainted blood.

Even though he'd tried not to hear, Severus had learned who Narcissa's husband would be. As soon as he'd heard the name, Severus knew the reason the Malfoys' son had been picked. The Malfoy's were one of the most wealthy pureblood families, something Severus could never accomplish.

He had no plan, but he couldn't let go of her that easily. Resisting the urge to act like a complete fool and begin to pound the snow beneath his fist, Severus forced his breathing to become calm and thought up a good excuse for being late. Teaching Potions may have been Narcissa's idea, but it hadn't been a bad one.

He enjoyed Potions and maybe he could be a good teacher. Maybe he could be a role model for kids who had been like him, with no purpose in life, and nothing to live for. He turned slowly on one foot and after a loud pop, he was nowhere in sight.

A/N: i don't really know how old everyone is. i just kinda put it in there.


	3. Chapter 3

Dinner that evening was less awkward than it could have been, but still Narcissa felt uncomfortable. Although she hadn't expected any different, Lucius had been nice enough. She and Lucius had met before at school, and her opinion of him hadn't changed since he graduated last year. If she hadn't already found the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, spending her life with Lucius wouldn't have seemed so unbearable. But the compare and contrast list she ran in her head of Lucius next to Severus said everything clear enough. The compare side was very small, but she lost track of the contrasts.

His family was nice enough as well. Right away she could see that it was from his mother that he'd inherited his blonde hair that was nothing like Severus' dark locks. His father wasn't awful either. In truth, she'd been quite frightened of this man. Her mind's eye had shown her a monster who didn't care about the wishes of children. He wasn't so bad, though. Judging from the way they talked to each other, Lucius and his father might share some semblance of a father-son bond.

Their happy family contrasted badly with her own. Her stoic father sat at the head of the table, his curt comments the very thing that kept the whole table on edge. On his right sat her mother. Every now and then, her father would reach over and squeeze her hand, but not in an endearing way. Now that the thought had entered her mind, Narcissa imagined that every touch from her father brought a painful expression to her mother' face. Her father's hand was like a cage, holding her there against her will. Narcissa herself looked presentable enough, but her father's eyes lingered on the empty chair next to her. Bellatrix had ignored the invitation for dinner, and Narcissa knew the only reason she'd been allowed to refuse the summons was because now that she was married, she belonged to the Lestrange family and father had no place there.

So the two families ate and talked and Narcissa didn't hate it. There was a part of her, however, that wished that Severus was there to hold her hand under the table. Her more logical part told her that it was stupid to wish for him now, but she did anyway.

Dinner ended and talk turned to politics. There was a debate going on about whether Voldemort had the right idea or not. Her mother, taking a rare stand against her father's views, agreed with Mrs. Malfoy. They thought that perhaps Voldemort had the right ideas to begin with, but in these last years where he had begun to kill muggles and their supporters, he had grossly overstepped his boundaries. The men disagreed and the goodnatured argument continued.

After awhile, Narcissa took a risk and asked to be excused. Her father didn't have time to get angry. Before he had given his permission, Lucius Malfoy asked if she would like to walk in the garden with her. She had no choice but to say yes.

It was cold outside, so Narcissa put on her cloak and then another. She and Lucius walked quietly for awhile, the only sound the crunching of the snow under their boots. Near the end of the garden, Lucius stopped and turned to look at her.

"I had a good time tonight," he told her.

"So did I," she told him.

"Did you really?" he asked motioning to a bench that one of the gardeners had kept clear of snow. "I wasn't sure. You don't seem like it."

"I'm sorry," she told him truthfully, but not sure if this was the right answer. She hadn't had a particularly bad time tonight, but still, she hadn't really enjoyed meeting the family she was being forced into. She didn't hate them, she just knew it was't Severus.

"May I speak with you truthfully?" Lucius asked her as she took her seat beside him.

"You may," she told him, "but there is no need to be so formal. After all, we're..." She left the sentence unfinished.

"Yes, we are." Lucius said, without any particular emotion that Narcissa could detect.

"Well, frankly, I wasn't happy when my father told me he had picked a bride for me. It's not that I'm disappointed in you, of course. It's just that I would like to choose for myself. However," he continued, business-like, "I would like you to know, I _do_ plan to make this work. Once I'm set a task I follow through with it."

"Oh, OK, good." Narcissa wasn't quite sure that she liked to hear their impending marriage referred to as a task, but was somewhat relieved to hear what Lucius thought of it all. He would be faithful, and at the same time, would understand Narcissa's own misgivings.

"I'm glad to hear that Lucius. I, too, will go through with this. I promise."

"Come now, wasn't it you who said there need be no formality? I'm glad we've had this talk. Allow me to escort you back to the house?"

"Thank you, but no. I'd like to sit in the garden awhile longer and admire the stars. But I need no escort if you're ready to leave."

"If you're sure then?"

"Yes, thank you. Will you tell my parents I'll be in later?"

"Of course. I'll see you soon then?"

"Yes, but I don't know how soon. At least once more before your school resumes?"

"Yes, of course." Narcissa was having trouble keeping up the conversation. Really, she just wanted him to go back inside and let her sit quietly alone.

"Goodnight, my dear." Lucius kissed the middle knuck of her hand before turning and walking back to the house. Then she was left alone, in the dark, silent garden. The lantern had gone with Lucius and now she had only the moonlight.

Within minutes, he was there. Behind her, his arms around her, protecting her, holding her safe, as she cried onto his shoulder. Not until then, when she let loose all of her tears, did Narcissa realize how hard tonight had been for her. She could pretend that she was ok with this, she could say that she would go through with it, and she could pretend that she could live her life without Severus, but when she said "I do" it would be for the rest of her life, not just until she got tired of it.

Right now, Severus was here, but soon he wouldn't be. She would be on her own, and she didn't know if she could bear it. "Cissa," he breathed quietly, his breath forming clouds in the air. "I'm here. I promise I'm here." And right then, Narcissa needed him so much that she couldn't bear to tell him the harsh truth: that he wouldn't always be there, and Lucius would.

A/N: i read through this several times, correcting it. but i still feel that it is very rough. anyone who notices major mistakes, please tell me. Yes, i do realize that Severus came a day early... he missed her!


End file.
